You want a tutorial? I'll show you tutorial.

Some of y'all may know that in the last year I've tried to improve my sewing. I read lots of books and blogs about easy beginner projects (which by the way are almost exclusively for little girls...I have boys, thus I don't need to learn how to sew?) and have tried (read:failed) some of them. Well, I have a bin of clothing to be "re-purposed" or made into something else. So, I thought, I'll take this sweater and make a little sweater vest for Andrew. And I'll take pictures along the way so I can use the other sweater to make one for Henry. This was such a moronic idea for three reasons.

1) I am terrible at taking good pictures, particularly of small things (children, stitches, chihuahuas, and the like).
2) I kind of stink at sewing, so when I look at the end project, I think, "Yeah, I won't be repeating that project. It's ugly."
3) Sewing with my boys is just completely ridiculous. A "quick, 30-minute project" turns into two weeks, because I have constant interruptions and kids sitting on my stuff.

That said, I facetiously present to you...the sweater vest. (I have no intention of this actually helping someone sew something. Mostly it is just to document the process so I'm reminded to just spend the money and buy the clothes my kids need from the store. It's WAY worth it.)

1. Cut what you need while leaving as much of the sweater in tact as possible, thus cutting out any extraneous sewing.
2. Use the "short and fat" sweater vest as a pattern of approximately how long and not wide it should be. Realize that this vest may be a little too skinny. Continue anyway.
3. Get out Toy Story toys to distract children who are getting all up in my grill.
4. Let Henry hold some straight pins. That shouldn't hurt him.

5. Cut edges off the sleeves to be used for the armholes. And try to use finished edges, because otherwise one armhole will be fraying...Shoot. I didn't even follow my own instructions.
6. Eat some of these when you realize you are 28 and still can't cut in a straight line.
7. Make a V-neck out of a circle neck. Oh, and make sure it is centered or else...well, or else it will look like mine.
8. Realize that one armhole is not only smaller but also totally crooked. Continue anyway.9. Tell Andrew to be cool. He is.
10. Realize that Andrew's clothes are NOT the first thing people notice about him. And relax, because he'll grow out of this in two shakes of a lamb's tail anyway.